Everyone Could Use A Little Support….

The difficulties that arise from everyday complications of a child’s life as well as that of our own can place an overwhelming amount of stress on anyone and while initially we are able to handle the pressure, as we get older, the burden becomes insurmountable, nerves become fragile and emotional meltdowns are inevitable.  If you find yourself raising a child alone a support system is a must! Women in general are so skilled at being the masters of multi tasking they convince themselves raising a child alone would be a piece of cake - wrong. Initially once a routine is established it might appear to be easy but there are many factors that haven’t even begun to surface and when they do appear, you will find yourself asking what was I thinking? If you work, you have to give your employer a certain amount of your life and brain power because - they’re paying you for it. When you get home and until the child goes to bed, you have to give them a certain amount of your life and brain power because that’s your community service and trust me if you do this job well, the community will be thankful. Whatever small part of your life you have left over you can arm wrestle with sleep for it but I speak from experience – sleep always win. There are parents who think all they have to do is teach their child the basics, explain their rules and the child will pretty much parent themselves. They’ve adapted the mama bird theory - push them out of the nest and they will fly. While some kids are capable of accomplishing this challenge, most teen’s brain cells have not fully formed and realistically - you are expecting way too much from them.  You might have masked your apparent withdrawal from their lives under the pretense of teaching them to be “independent” but really you’re just bailing on them because you’re tired of sharing, you’re tired of constantly monitoring and you’re tired of not having any time for yourself. You find yourself becoming resentful because it seems like all you do is give and give and give and no one is giving to you. Suddenly you and your teen are in constant battles and all of this is happening because you tried to do it all and now your tank is on empty. This is why it is so important to have a support system. When children are learning to walk, we don’t expect them to walk with us to the store after their first steps. Instead we work with them until they are able to walk on their own. It takes a couple of years of learning before they can independently walk with you around the park. The same holds true for teenagers transitioning into adulthood. Parenting goes far beyond the age of 18. You don’t stop teaching once they reach the age of consent and you certainly do not stop parenting. Do yourself a favor and get yourself a support system. You’ll be amazed at how many of life’s obstacles are easier to tolerate when you have someone in your corner to back you up.