Friendship

In a perfect world there would be a universal definition of the word friendship. Everyone would have the same understanding and a person could be charged with breaking the law if they violate it. Unfortunately life doesn’t work that way. Friendship is an unexplainable emotional attachment we share with certain individuals. A member of the love family, it’s a non sexual attraction we have with someone that makes us feel good inside. No one knows why we feel such a strong kinship toward some individuals and not others but when we feel it we would do just about anything for that friend and when we lose it, like losing a love – it can be devastating. When a friend turns on us often times we don’t know why. One minute you are the best of friends and the next minute they hate you and all that you stand for. What you thought was friendship has now turned into hate. Bewildered by the turn of events we often find ourselves confused and can’t understand why a friend would betray us yet we hear of this happening time and time again. You can’t make someone love you when they don’t and you can’t make someone be your friend when they won’t. There are those who have a fear of abandonment and are unaware they have it.  They are so accustomed to people in their lives leaving them, instinctively they will sabotage a relationship without understanding why themselves. We have to accept responsibility in the choices we make in friends. Look at the history of that person, do they bounce from friend to friend to friend and now have a hate relationship with each person? True friends are special and if you are ever lucky enough to find someone who understands the same definition as you, hold on for dear life because a true friend is hard to come by.

You have an inner circle group of girls that you consider to be your Ride Or Die Chicks. All of you have been friends for many years and hang out together quite often.  One evening you meet at your usual place but this time something’s different, there’s a new face at the table.  You look and it’s a girl you knew from the old neighborhood.  She went to school with all of you but you never liked her because she was messy. Instead of being Middle Schoolish, you remind yourself you are all grown women now and proceed to enjoy your evening.  The next day you’re glad you were open minded because she wasn’t so bad.  You even add her to your social network.  Several months and several outings later she begins to act distant.  She’s not socializing with you as much as she did when you first added her. She acts standoffish at the get-togethers and has a negative response towards everything you say.  You and the rest of your crew can not figure out why girlfriend is tripping. Then one evening while you’re at home with your man he says he has something to tell you.  Apparently your “old friend” contacted your man on the social network and told him confidences you’d previously shared with your girlfriends.  Not only did she tell him what you said but she’s been sending him pictures of herself and asking him out to dinner. You’re speechless. He informs you she’s been doing this since becoming friends on the network.  In other words, you invited her into your world and she went directly after your man. He thought ignoring her would make it go away but it’s escalating even though he clearly indicated he’s not interested. As badly as you want to, you can’t kick her ass because you’re a respectable adult so instead you do the mature thing and call her on the phone to ask her why. She basically tells you you don’t deserve him. You tell her your friendship is over and not to bother joining you and your friends anymore. She tells you all of you are stupid bitches anyway and she can’t stand any of you and hangs up.  Convinced she’s crazy, eventually you are able to go to sleep.  Several hours later one of your girls call you to tell you to check network.  There for the world to see is all of your business. She has not only put you on blast but added a bunch of BS to boot. Here’s what you don’t do.  You don’t lose your dignity and self respect. In a perfect world you could have that dumb bitch locked up for violating a friendship but in our world you simply delete her posts, you and your man block her from your network, ignore all her calls and live your lives.